10 confessions of a dog trainer….well, the truth would come out sooner or later.
1. All owners are dog ‘parents’.
We refer to clients as ‘Alfie’s Dad’ and ‘Frankie’s Mum’. That’s because we truly believe you are actually parents and because we, ummmm, sometimes forget your actual names. Moving on….
2. We are the worlds worst for talking to dogs.
We spend our days teaching clients not to overload dogs with information and not to treat dogs as humans, but the truth is, we do it too! From epic goodbyes when we need to nip to the shop, to asking them consistently what’s on their mind when we catch them staring at the wall to telling them at least a thousand times a day how beautiful we think they are. Of course we justify it by claiming that we know differently but the bottom line, we cant help conversing with our dogs any more than you can. And if we ask them questions we wait until we get an answer, or we put on our best dog voices and answer on their behalf.
3. Our dogs can be naughty too.
But rarely do we like to admit this one. It’s not a question of our ability to train dogs, after
all we train yours. It’s more to do with the fact that underneath all that fur and operant conditioning lays an actual dog with an actual mind that can actually be naughty. But to most of us, that’s the beauty of working with dogs, seeing how their mind works and their willingness to run away with even the grossest smelling shoes.
4. We also get frustrated.
We are dog trainers, not Saints. As is human nature we aren’t immune from experiencing frustration from bad training sessions or just bad days for that matter. We just recognise that today ain’t the day that Fido is going to roll over and walk away until we calm down.
5. We talk poo.
I mean like, actual poo. It’s quite disturbing how much time we spend picking up, inspecting, dissecting and discussing poo. Heck, we even photograph it. We are literally the Gillian McKeith’s of the doggy industry. And you best believe we know when you’re fibbing to us about what you really feed your dogs. You’ve been warned!
6. We can be socially awkward at times.
We spend so much time talking dog, our brains don’t have the capacity to hold much else that we can talk about. Don’t judge us.
7. We give your dogs nicknames. Sometimes we even sing them.
Lexi Lulu, Baby Alfie, Mad Max, The Daxinator, Killer Kevin….the list goes on. Nobody escapes.
8. We discuss which owners look most like their dogs.
When we look deep in thought, this is usually what we are thinking. We also discuss which dogs look or act most like celebrities. Oh yes, we have shook hands with Johnny Depp and Lady Gaga many times. And once, we even met the Queen!
9. We get ‘stuff’ envy.
Whether it be something your dog has or something you have. If we haven’t seen it before and it looks cool, expect the green eyed monster to enter the room.
10. We consider you family.
Like all familes, we have our ups and our downs, but when it comes down to it, we love you and your dogs to bits and couldn’t imagine our life without you in it.